Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Clouds in My Coffee

 photo: curious_butterfly
I may have solved a modern mystery.  I have often been amazed when I see stories on the news about the incredible amount of drugs in the form of white powder that is smuggled into the country by South American and Mexican Cartels.

I am pretty sure I know where a large quantity of this contraband is going: Into my coffee cup.  I am relatively certain that the innocent looking plastic container sitting by my coffee pot with the pop-top lid is full of milk-flavored cocaine or something equally addicting. 

I used to use a teaspoon to measure in a little taste, but my habit has morphed into a full-blown maniacal usage.  Like any junkie with a habit that has gotten out of hand, I have to have my fix or I get cranky. 

I want enough so that when I pour corn syrup solids, partially hydrogenated soybean oil and sodium caseinate milk derivative into my empty cup there is a wisp of powder that blooms at the top like a detonated mushroom cloud.

I know this is not good for me.  Have you ever seen what this stuff is like when you leave it sitting unprotected on the counter for a while?  It hardens into dipotassium phosphate concrete which could be used to build bridges and skyscrapers.  What must this stuff be doing to the Starbucks Café inside my stomach?

When you're as broke and as old as I am, your hang-ups are all you got left.  If I am addicted, I guess the up side is that I can buy 11 ounces of this white powder for a dollar.
Ya'll be good or at least be good at it!

photo: caramia_bucket
photo: mattsen32
photo: madjerry007
Enhanced by Zemanta

No comments: