Monday, April 25, 2011

I Fought The Law And The Lawyers Won

I don’t know the Low Down on Lindsay Lohan but that’s not going to stop me from commenting about it.

 I feel your pain Lindsay, but only just a little. Let’s see, you are:

Young,
Beautiful,
Photogenic,
Look great in skin-tight white dresses,
Controlled substance expert,
Jewelry connoisseur,
Possibly talented, and
Able to afford high-priced lawyers (Always a plus!)

Being in trouble with the law is like having all your very bad days at once.  Lindsay gets to have hers in public with cameras following her every move and most likely with a hangover and a no-pot chaser.

I got in trouble with the law without all of the above advantages, although I probably had the hangover in common.

Without writing a dissertation on the justice system, suffice it to say: you don’t want to get on the bad side of John Law.  Just ask Lindsay.

And me.

Lindsay may actually be innocent of something for a change so the irony of her actually going to jail for something she didn’t do would be a pisser.

Like it was for me.

Getting busted is bad enough but then they make you put on the orange jump suit.

 (And would somebody tell me please why jump suits?  I mean if you have to use the bathroom, you have to pull your top off in front of anybody who wants to get an eyeful.  And then you have to be careful where the top half of your jump suit goes and not let it fall around your knees or get twisted and floating.  Ewwwwww and awkward.)

I don’t know, maybe in Hollywood they get designer jumpsuits and actors who play great lawyers on TV.

Remember that old song, “I fought the law and the law won.”  I’m sure that song was written by someone from Texas. In the Texas judicial system, you will be judged by a jury of your peers who will decide who has the best lawyer.  Not necessarily on your innocence. 

Sadly, I speak from experience. 

Lindsay may have won for today and be out of jail, but the law has been practicing for centuries and it doesn’t screw around when it is out to screw you.

Best of luck, Lindsay.  And say, can you tell me where did you get that white dress?

Yall Behave!

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