Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Ida Clare, I’d like to thank the Academy!
“Why are you thanking the Academy? You didn’t win an Oscar. Oh, I know, you must be thanking Academy Sports and Outdoors for putting exercise equipment on sale.”
Oh, shut up. I cannot imagine in what universe I might go in person to the Oscars, (or buy exercise equipment, for that matter), but I enjoyed watching it on television without having to shave my legs or hire a limo. It broke up the monotony of Sunday night television viewing for seven or eight hours.
I know that a lot of people think the Oscars are pretentious, egotistical and a waste of time that could be spent watching countless reruns of HGTV’s Love It or List It and they would be correct, but so what?
I’d like to thank the Academy for handing out awards that at least acknowledge that creativity matters to somebody in this world besides you and me.
Rather than another dreary sales meeting around the conference table, what would it be like if every industry or workplace gave out awards for a job well done?
One could argue that a paycheck should be reward enough but you and I both know that we all need to feel that we are appreciated for the effort that we put into our work. Chances are nobody in your work place is going to give you a gold statue, so today I would like to nominate you for:
The nominee’s for best ______________ in ____________ is (your name here) .
Some of the categories you might not have considered are:
The nominee’s for the best sales person in spite of a dipstick boss are:
The nominee’s for the person who slept with the most co-workers are:
The nominee’s for most efficient accountant under IRS scrutiny are:
The nominee’s for wearing the skimpiest swim suit in the secretarial pool are:
The nominee’s for making a fool of themselves at the office Christmas party are:
The nominee’s for pretending to love being a farmer’s wife are:
The nominee’s for continually hosting your dysfunctional family Thanksgiving dinners are:
You decide your category and who you have to beat out to win.
And the Oscar goes to: YOU!
P.S. I would have had this post up yesterday while we were still in Oscar Glow, but the party at my house ran amok and ran over.