Monday, March 25, 2013

Ida Clare, I beg your pardon

I already knew what I wanted to write about this week.  I have been thinking about it for a while and I am trying to create a short e-book to go with the topic.  Alas, my short e-book gets longer every time I work on it.  (This has been going on for weeks!) Since I cannot present you with what I thought I was going to write about I have had to cast about for another subject.

What should be no-big-deal from anyone else's point of view seems to be huge to my BLOCKHEAD.  (My all-knowing-bossy-expert-on-all-things-Ida internal-critic is named Blockhead and is alive and well in my head, thank you very much.)

Ms. High and Mighty Blockhead is hammering me because I’ve changed my mind instead of congratulating me for still having a mind in spite of everything.

I won’t bore you with the nasty dialogue I am hearing inside my head: mean words I wouldn’t say to an enemy, I use to bludgeon my poor artist-self.

I can bet you know what it feels like to be confronted by small and not so small disappointments: 

•    Not doing what you said you’d do
•    Not starting or completing a project like you’d planned
•    A project not turning out like you’d hoped
•    This list could go on forever

It takes an amazing amount energy to live with disappointment, guilt, regret, and self-recrimination that it is no wonder we don’t do our art or resist doing what we love.  If you have to run the gauntlet of these feelings before you can resume your work, how can you expect to physically and mentally make yourself move forward?

I say, we need a daily forgiveness ritual. 

•    Goofed off yesterday?  Forgive yourself!
•    Left the cap off the tube of paint?  Let it go!
•    Didn’t finish your e-book? Grant yourself a pardon! (You deserve to live!)

Do you know that sound of the needle being pulled across a record to stop the music? I can hear it right now as the thought of forgiveness brings my idea to a screeching halt by a crabby old perfectionist with beady eyes pointing a crooked finger at me while scolding me with these pearls of wisdom:
•    “You’re letting yourself off the hook.”
•    “You’re tolerating bad behavior like you always do.”
•    “You’ll never create anything if you don’t hold yourself accountable.”

What is unforgivable is already done.  You can allow your Blockhead to have his or her way with you and wallow in the muck or you can choose to give yourself a break and start where you are.

Put the needle back on the record and play the music to the commercial that McDonald's used for years.  “You deserve a break today…”

•    Give yourself a break today. 
•    A forgiveness break. 
•    A letting-go break. 
•    Beg your own pardon…and grant it.

Don’t get hung up on the term, “forgiveness.”   The root of the word forgiveness means to let go.  Or you can always pardon yourself.  I like that too.

Start your day or your creative project by forgiving you for all the stuff you didn’t do; or didn't do well enough; or didn’t get marked off your to do list.

Humming that little song, “You deserve a break today…” made famous by McDonalds is your trigger to let go.

Have a carefree creative week,

1 comment:

Jessica Paige said...

Ida Clare, you are a treasure! I badly needed this reminder, 'cause there's surely a lot to forgive according to MY blockhead!