Friday, October 4, 2013

What TGIF Really Means

Dear Creative Chicks,

Well, it’s TGIF or Thank Goodness it’s Fried! 

We here in Big Thicket like everything fried and I’m not just talking about the new lower calorie French Fries at Burger King.  Really, Burger King?  You think low-cal fries are going to make up for that creepy king mascot you used for years frightening a whole generation of children into the arms of a clown named Ronald?  But already I am getting off the subject.

We fry any thing that can’t still jump out of the skillet and we prefer to dip it in batter first, so imagine my surprise while at the food court at Sam’s Club, when I watched dumbfounded as a man brought to his table a rotisserie chicken and plastic cutlery where he proceeded to crack open the packaging on the chicken and dig right in.  (I don’t exactly know what to call the place where they sell hot dogs and a coke for the tasty price of $1.75.)
Does this seem odd to you?  No plate, no napkin, no woman to be embarrassed for him: his only companion; the required smart-phone substitute for a human lunch partner and his greasy fingers that tapped relentlessly on the screen when they weren't chicken grabbing. 

Note to self: Have my own cell-phone checked for salmonella.

What’s next?  Bringing the container of Bluebell and a wimpy plastic spoon to the table while texting to your friends on Facebook, “Hey look, Sam’s has the five-gallon size of Cookies and Cream and I’m not leaving until I’ve eaten it down to the cardboard. Whoo Hoo! TGIF:  Thank Goodness it’s Frozen!”

In Big Thicket, going out to eat is one of the things we have to do that passes for entertainment.  Eating as entertainment.  Now that I think about it, I kept waiting for this brute to wrench the drumstick from the carcass, rip the meat off the bone then throw it over his shoulder in Henry the Eighth fashion.  Now that would have been dinner and a show.

As for you, if you’ve gotten this far, reading all the way to the end, you too can say: TGIF:  Thank God I’m Finished!

Have a great Friday,

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