Like a critically acclaimed television show with no ratings, this little blog has its accolades but no readership. It has been nominated for a Ploditizer. Not to be confused with Pulitzer, a Ploditizer is an award for a blog that plods along with scanty posts, few tutorials, absolutely no curriculum for your little genius home-schooler and a penchant for avoidance of writing posts all together.
“Who nominated you?” you might ask. Ah shucks, I nominated myself. Since I created the Ploditizer Prize, I might as well be the first winner and honoree.
It is such an honor just to be nominated. I got the call early this morning or was that the call of the bathroom? It was very early so I don’t exactly remember. I would like to thank the academy: Academy Sports and Outdoors. Did you know you can order your own trophies, no questions asked? They aren’t exactly shaped like the Oscar because if you get a trophy here in Big Thicket they’re likely to have deer antlers on them.
I guess there could be a presentation ceremony, but that would mean I have to dress up and send out invitations so maybe not. We’ve been having an actual winter here, so all my strapless gowns are not practical since goose flesh is so unattractive on anyone but geese.
Besides who wants to wear a strapless gown when you can wear pajamas with feet in them and stay wrapped up in a Snuggie? Footed pajamas may become one of the Ploditizer requirements along with a good dose of apathy and overwhelm.
Let’s see if you are a candidate for a Ploditizer?
The weather outside is frightful. The weather inside is just slightly better.
You have the attention span of a flea with ADD. (no offense to fleas intended)
You are drunk on Pintrest and Netflix.
You are in denial that Christmas will take place again this year.
Your modus operandi is the slacker life, you are a procrastinator extraordinaire, a lolly gagger, you know which end of the dilly to dally and you are considered by many to be a flake.
You start many projects, finish few and have a bevy of well used excuses that you drag out at the drop of a deadline.
You, my friend could be eligible for a Ploditizer.
Oh yeah, and you claim to be a blogger.
Since I am now a Ploditizer Winner, I am going to plod on out of here and see if I can come up with something more interesting to write about than this.