Monday, March 23, 2015

Ida Clare Scams are in the Air

I wish I could write about Spring but Scam is in the air.

I have been enjoying this lovely spring day until I received a panicked phone call from IdaMama telling me that I needed to talk to this lady from Microsoft who has thoughtfully phoned her to tell her that IdaMama’s computer is infected and needs help.

This unsolicited help from Microsoft comes at a cost of $150.00 or all her afflicted computers are going to melt into a big heap of Ebloa.

Yes and the crops will fail and all her unborn children will be little green aliens. 

Aside from stalking Facebook, doing computer jigsaw puzzles and playing Pet Rescue, IdaMama wouldn’t know a computer virus if it shook hands with her and introduced itself.  Now that I think about it that is exactly what the phone call was: an introduction to a human scumbag virus that preys on its victims through lies, fear and intimidation.  And I am angry that they tried it on my sweet Mom and wasted a moment of her time when she could be out enjoying this lovely spring day.

We were lucky.  IdaMama called me and I told her that I had received this phone call in the past and that it is a scam.  Here are some tips:

  • Microsoft will not phone you up to tell you anything.  These guys are busy doing actual real tech support. If you have ever been put on hold to get some real help then you know what I mean.
  • Never give out important information over the phone to someone who has called you.  If someone asks for information or credit card numbers, ask them for theirs and see how far you get.  Or just hang up.
  • is an article that can help if you have been scammed.

And if you have been victimized, don’t beat yourself up.  Just take action to prevent further damage. 

  • Get to a trusted friend’s computer and change your passwords.
  • If you have given them your credit card, call the company and cancel the account.
  • Notify your friends on social media that you may have been scammed and not to accept any bogus offers from you.  Now it not the time for them to bail you out of jail while you are on a trip to Borneo.  

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Ida Clare I'm in a Holidaze

Well here it is the middle of another Merry Christmas Pressure Cooker and I missed wishing you all a Happy Thanksgiving.  My blog posts are becoming as rare as my Christmas spirit.  I think I’m behind in my holiday cheer because I celebrated Halloween for waaay too long.  That fake tattoo that was supposed to wash off easily didn’t and since I put it right up front on my chest so it could be seen by ghouls and goblins in the moonlight, I had to stay home unless I dressed like a nun when I went out in public.

Since my nun costume attracts even more attention here in the Protestant Pineywoods than a tat on your boobies, I had to stay home because strange men kept asking if they could confess their sins to me.  I mean I could have starved to death if I didn’t have a house full of candy.

So since I missed the Thanksgiving post, may I just say that I am grateful for candy?

I don’t mean to be the disrespectful dinner guest who is put on the spot when the hostess asks the burning question, “What are you grateful for this year?” when my mouth is full of turkey.  Evidently I can’t chew and think gratefully at the same time so was I wrong to share that I was most grateful that the pile of cat puke I thought was on my mother’s carpet was only wet leaves I tracked in from the yard and much easier to clean up than the aforementioned disaster?

I don’t do holidays well which may be why I am just getting around to say that I am grateful for you, dear reader and to Google for giving me this blog for free.

In case I don’t get back in time: Merry and Happy!   I'd be grateful if you'd fill in the rest.


Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Ida Clare It's Time to Vote

My Fellow Americans,

Here is your big chance to put up or shut up.  If you don't vote you can't gripe about the mistakes that your fellow voters make.  Well, that's never really stopped me but it sounds good when you are feeling voter righteous.

Voter Righteous is a term I just this minute made up because someone has to make up stuff to keep Google in business.  To be voter righteous you must first vote.  This requires knowing where your voter registration card is.  You will have filed it with your other important papers like the recipe for home-made mosquito repellant and the warranty to that transistor radio you bought back when Y2K was a big deal.

With your voter card in hand you try to remember exactly where it is that you're supposed to go to vote.  If you're like me, you drove to the public building that you thought was your precinct, only to find out after standing in line for twenty minutes that the people who hold these elections are picky picky about who gets to vote where and you, naturally, get to vote some where else.  

That was my experience in the big city.  

Here in Big Thicket, you just look for the herd of pick-up trucks loitering around a parking lot where they don't normally congregate during daylight hours.  My voting site is a church not far from home and it is chock-full of cute little old ladies who wear red and white to go with their blue hair that sit at the desk, stamp your card and ask you personal questions that have nothing to do with voting.  This is because they know your mama, your lack of Sunday School participation and who is seeing your husband on the side.

In a town this size, there are people you only want to run into if you are behind the wheel of your car, but invariably you will find them standing next to you in line while you contemplate which crook you are going to send to Washington to become millionaires on a government salary.  As these things typically go for me, you will find yourself standing next to a guy you stood up for a date last month, someone you owe money to or the town pervert.  Isn't this a great country that they have the right to vote too?

After passing through the voter gauntlet and getting your little sticker that says "Yes, I voted", you will have earned the right to feel righteous too.  Go vote and see if it's true for you.


Friday, October 31, 2014

Ida Clare It's Halloweenie!

Happy Halloweenie! Here are some tags I made that I put in a little book that I sent to some fiends of mine. I made some more and tomorrow when I am on a sugar high, I will try to post photos.

I hope you are having a fun Halloween.  Remember drink and ride your broomstick responsibly

 Ida Clare.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

It's almost Halloweenie

Dear Creative Friends,

Well the scary people are starting to show up and I'm not talking about the politicians who are running for office this election cycle.  You and I know that it's time to hit the old pumpkin patch for one that isn't too big and isn't too little but is juuuuuuusst right.

Here is one of the tags I have been working on.  I will post more in the next few days.

Sorry, I can't stay long, I've got to test out some candy to make sure it doesn't have any sharp objects in it except my teeth.

Have a great week,


Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Ida Clare It's a Book Book

Dear Creative Friends,

Since I have been up to my elbows making handmade books, I thought I would share this video with you. This made me laugh out loud.  I hope you enjoy it too.

Have a creative day,

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Ida Clare, It's the Last Chapter of Bookish

Dear Creative Friends,

Well here we are at week three-in-a-row of blog posts.  I have been enjoying the fall-ish weather we have been having and it couldn't come too soon.  At my home away from home (Hobby Lobby) there are faux pumpkins ever where there isn't a Christmas ornament or a manger set even though we're still wearing flip flops and cammo shorts to shop. (We may wear cammo shorts but they're tricked out with some flirty lace around the leg openings.  Calls attention to our butterfly tat tastefully alight on the Cross at Calvary that we got for celebrating the final graduation of Vacation Bible School.)

I don't have the energy to be indigent any more about Christmas decorations being in the aisles before the Spring Shop of yard art, bird cages and fairy garden decor went to 60% off.  I am just thankful that Big Thicket has a Hobby Lobby for me to get a dose of creative potential when mine is running low.

Speaking of fairy gardens, I have two in my yard right this minute that I finally finished.  I must say they were a hit - with the cats anyway.  Can't say much about the fairies reaction since the mosquitoes have been too pesky to sit out in the twilight to see if I can catch them jetting in from the hills and dales around here.  I guess they wouldn't "jet" in, they probably just flit in. Whatever it is they do.  Do they ride on the backs of cats?  They should.  My cats need an occupation other than the sleep-a-thon they seem to be running.

Anyway, here are some more photos from Bookish, the altered book I made for my brother.

I'm not sure why I didn't crop out the hand model's pudgy thumb and finger and I could do it now but I am lazier than I am vain.

This lady reminds me of my neighbor who is too busy having her nose in my business to have her nose in a good book.

"Never trust anyone who has not brought a book." -Lemony Snickett

"Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup."  This is a tag I made of from the design of bookplates.  I drew the dragon myself and printed this version out of an old book page.

"She is fond of books and it has turned her brain."  I think this quote is from Jane Austin or Austin Powers, I can't remember which.
"Perhaps I will read until I feel better."  Well, duh.

"Ever feel like you spend too much time reading?"  And the other intelligent looking chick says, "Yeah, me neither."
 Just a burning question here, why is it that other people think they have to right to judge the amount of time you spend with your head in a book?  After all it is your head.  If you weren't intentionally cramming it with something good from a book, you'd have to fight to keep out the environmental debris and internal negative muckity muck.

I saw a similar painting on Pintrest so I copied it with my little watercolors and added the words.  I like this.

"In life we all come with baggage.  Mine just happens to be filled with books."

"At times, I think to myself,  'Drop the book and get stuff done!'  Then I laugh and turn the page."  I like the little envelope for keeping important stuff.
"A book a day keeps reality away."  This is the only flower in the whole dang book.  It was a challenge to make sure the book was masculine because I am so accustom to making my books girlie.  I can't help it.

"Now is the perfect time to develop the structural integrity of your book fort."  I don't have a book fort but I pretend I have one in the bathtub with the shower curtain pulled.  You have to be careful not to drop your book among the bubbles.  Books like water about as much as cats do.

"Sometimes I drive through the hood blasting an audiobook."  That's what I'm talkin' about.

This quote was written by a young person with a stunning case of optimism. 

"I tried everything to get to sleep last night.  Well, except closing the book and putting it on the nightstand.  Lets' not get too crazy."

"Here's to books, the cheapest vacation you can buy."  --It may be the only vacation I can buy 

"When I grow up I want to be a book."

"Each time you open a book and read it, a tree smiles knowing there is life after death." 

"My workout is reading in bed until my arms 

"Anyone who has time to clean is not reading nearly enough."

Bookplates ready to be used in my brother's library.

The End.
I hope you enjoyed looking at Bookish, the last chapter.  Oh ha ha!

Have a creative week,