Thursday, March 24, 2011

I Love Miracle Whip

Yesterday I started this blog and I gave ya’ll the recipe for Ida Clare’s Done Good Potato Salad.

Ya’ll write me back after you make it and tell me how your Ida Man! liked it.   We can’t control the Ida Man! in our lives, even when we try.  But most men will eat any thing that you serve to them while the television is on.

I know you’re gonna like it cause the recipe calls for MIRACLE WHIP.  Kraft, the maker of Miracle Whip has got this advertising campaign going on where celebrities take a stand on whether you love it or hate it.  

photo by Defekto
But before I get into a hot debate and have to explain why something called Miracle Whip kinda turns me on,  I might need to tell you just who’s little ole blog you’re visiting and how I came to be a local celebrity.

Well, obviously you know because you can read that my name is Ida Clare, but not too long ago I was given what I thought was a great idea.  Since I am crafty, brilliant, a great cook, not afraid to voice my humble opinion and really need to bring in a six-figure income to support my wicked ways, my friend told me I needed to be the Martha Stewart of Big Thicket.

Photo by Cleveland Leader 200
Sure enough, when I looked in the phone book, there wasn’t a Martha Stewart listed, so I decided that is just who I would become.  Unfortunately, Martha’s lawyers didn’t think much of my friends’ idea and threatened me with a restraining order. 

You know, Oprah has a sister now.  Why can’t I be Martha’s short voluptuous younger cousin?  She’s the one who’s been in prison, not me. 

Well, since I didn't have the money to get to Connecticut anyway, (hell if you could go around the world on two dollars, I couldn't get out of sight) I just told all my friends that I  was going to become a celebrity on my own.   

Note to self:  Don’t blab about meeting celebrities till you actually meet them.


Now about Miracle Whip.  It’s the best.  I love the taste. 

•    Great for a fold over sandwich on white bread when you’re starving and too lazy to cook. 

•    You can use it to get Double Bubble Chewing Gum out of your hair when you fall asleep with it in your mouth instead of sticking your wad on the bed post.  

•    You can slather it all over your hair and use it as a conditioner. 

•    Miracle Whip will remove tar and feathers if a mob shows up in your front yard set on revenge.  

I bet Martha doesn’t even know about that.

Leave a Miracle Whip comment.  You know you have one.

1 comment:

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